Saturday, June 09, 2007

Brokeback Diplomacy


(activate youtube player for total atmospheric enhancement)
Steam rises from a king size red heart shaped hot tub in a tacky garishly decorated hotel room. Mood candles flicker and sensuously fill the room with their aphrodisiatic love scent. Through the mists we can see two figures langorously nestling in the jet of the hot tub. If we listen closely, we can hear them whispering softly as Barry White plays in the background......

....It's been a long time, Vlad, I forgot what it was like...

.....Dah, me too, my little Georgey, We lose the cameras, the press, our entourage
and now, it is just me and you...how you say? Quality time!

.....You know Vlad, I'm sorry about the things I said about you and Democracy. I just
get crazy, you know? The leader of the free world thing? There's so much
pressure...uhhhhh...sometimes, I...uhhh....
get, lonely...uhh...a fella has needs...uhh and lately, Laura...welll.....

.....And me, Georgey, about the missle thing. I'm sure we can work it out. You are so
tense, here let me give you a massage. This is a little trick I learned in the
KGB. You know Georgey, you don't always have to use "torture" to get what you
want.....

.....Vlad, that's nice, ooohhhh....I can feel that tenseness evaporating already,
I feel so uhhh...free....uhhh, Have I ever told you how i feel when I look into
your steely blue eyes?

.....Yes, Georgey, many times, you say you can feel that I am someone you can do
business to...You are forgetting, I am a bastard.....

.....Yes Vlad, you are a naughty bastard. Oh why can't I quit you? Turn up the Barry
White! I'm ready for you!

.....Okey Dokey Georgey, but I have to remember my Missle Defense Shield, if you know
what I mean!

It's time to leave the room now, the candles are flickering, Barry is crooning, the steam is rising...let us leave these lovebirds in privacy to work out their differences. Maybe, someday, we can all learn to live together in peace and harmony!
All the worlds national anthems will be replaced with Barry White and his Love Unlimited Orchestra playing the Love Unlimited Theme and we will all live to dance together in peace under the giant disco ball of Understanding and LOVE!

3 comments:

microdot said...

This piece was written especially for Barb's friend, Bible Boy. Biible Boy, I hope you like Barry White!

ohdave said...

Missile Defense Shield!!

LOL!!

microdot said...

This guy, Valdimir Putin is a ral bad influence. Our new hyper president here in France, Nicolas Sarkozy has made a real big deal about not drinking. The video that is making the rounds on the net is of Sarkozy doing a press conference after a special conference with Putin.
I have to find the video, because, Sarkozy is drunk! Not just tipsy, but bordering on loony drunk. Putin must have made him do lime jello vodka shots! You know, the bonding thing.....
Bad Boy Vlad!